THE NEXT DAY
Dad called back. He'd gathered I'd figured out that he and Mom had "misgivings" (his word) about the marriage. And thus he'd prepared a little speech, he advised me, and would be consulting his notes as he spoke.
I had to smile because I recognized myself in the old guy: When I was younger, I too would draw up an outline when I'd something important to communicate to someone significant.
As the years go by I'm realizing there's an indelible connection between my father and I, despite my having tried to distance myself from him and what he represents since I was a teenager.
He read his diatribe, an itemized list of stuff I'd done and said in the past, all of which supposedly contradicted the concept of my marrying Bill now. Then I thought to have him read it a second time.
The first time, his arguments astounded me in their absurdity. I won't even recount them here; they were idiotic. I hoped the second recitation would enlighten him on just how ridiculous he sounded.
But I wasn't going to do any bullying. I didn't want to argue. We're not belligerent people. I just let him deliver his little lecture. When he was done I said calmly, "I guess you won't be coming to the ceremony". His response: "I didn't say that".
3 comments:
Sounds to me like your dad really does love you. If he didn't, he would just ignore you. He doesn't understand your lifestyle but you are his firstborn and he absolutely loves you!!! Even though he doesn't agree with you, he will always accept your decisions. That's what it sounds like to me, an observer.
Seriously? Stuff you said and did in the past that supposedly contradicts your decision to marry? Surely he understands that as people age and mature their thoughts and actions do the same.
I'm eager to hear if/how this resolves.
Your dad is talking like all people who are madly in love, even parents who are madly in love with their kids. He's not making any sense at all. Why not let him be like the rest of us, like you when you are madly in love?
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