IS MELODY PLAYING WITH ME?
Or am I thinking too much?
Sometimes I exchange smalltalk at work with a blind woman named Melody. Melody doesn't use the accoutrements generally associated with the visually-impaired - no white cane, no dog, no dark glasses. No eyewear at all in fact. She doesn't wanna advertise her blindness, right? No biggie.
She's affable enough and good with the banter. Star on her forehead: She remembers my name and she uses it. That's a small gift. She's saying, "I hardly know you but I respect you enough to store your name in my brain". Melody gets a gold star as she identifies me solely by the sound of my voice.
But hell, I sure won't again make the mistake of giving her a helping hand when she's juggling the office equipment. I learned that the hard way. Melody gets real testy when manual assistance is offered. She can manage on her own, thank-you-very-much. Seems her inner bitch isn't buried so deep where staplers are concerned.
That's the set-up. This's the issue:
The first words out of her mouth are usually "Long time no see".
So, is she taunting me? Her attitude suggests she doesn't want to be treated like she has a handicap. Fair enough. I can do that. Yet her initial remark begs for its acknowledgement, no?
It's like she's goading me to say something inappropriate. Or is she making a joke? Should I laugh? Am I being tested?
Whatever. I'll probably just continue to disregard this possible-provocation, which is pretty much how I deal with awkward social situations.
And I'm probably blowing this all out of proportion. I usually do that too.
8 comments:
Sounds to me like she's got a sense of humor : )
My experience with the blind is relatively limited, but in my limited experience they use the word "see" all the time, and if you use it they won't think you're taunting them or rubbing it in.
Also, the correct etiquette in dealing with the "handicapable" is, if you see them struggling with something, ask if they need help rather than just bumbling in and helping. Or, failing that, ask them what they like rather than applying some blanket rule to all, so in future you can be ready with the appropriate response.
Just my two cents...
(PS: Is it wrong that I find that 3-hole punch sexy?)
michael sean: There's something about shiny office supplies that gives me a tingle too. But I'm partial to the stapler: thick, dark and sturdy...grrrrrrr
Lookit that thing - it's a hot session just waitin' to happen.
See, now I prefer things which are sleek and silvery, be they a three-hole punch or Anderson Cooper.
It sounds to me like she's screwing with you. It's a little cruel, but hey, I'd probably do the same thing if I were blind.
I don't think she was taunting you. I think she simply used a phrase everyone is familiar with: "Long time no see." Then again, could be that she has a good sense of humor and knows that the phrase may illicet a disquieting response!
Mark :-)
dang, y'all leave the staplers alone. sheesh, never found them to be erotic, but the way you've described it . . . kind of gives me the shivers: thick, dark, sturdy. indeed.
as to your friend, i'm reminded of an across the hall neighbor i had in houston. her use of the word "see" was constant and used so frequently it seemed odd. "see ya soon," "i see you're just getting home from work," "we'll see what tomorrow brings," and so on. i never knew how to handle it either. i didn't feel she was trying to provoke a response, it just seemed like some way of leveling the field? i don't know.
I sing in a choir and one of my fellow tenors is blind. He makes a point of making blatant jokes about his blindness and encourages us to do the same. For instance, if he bumps into me, I can say "hey watch where you're going!" and he eats it up. Or when we are in position at a concert, in our usual location behind the altos, he will tell one of them that they are blocking his view. He feels that by being "in your face" about his blindness it disarms people and prevents them from being overly protective. Melody might be the same way.
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